Dark Humour

This is similar to something I'd posted earlier...but with a humorous touch...

A pastor, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one
morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The
engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have
been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I
don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude". The
pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's
have a word with him." "Hi John. Say, what's with that
group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group
of blind fire-fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group was silent for a moment. Then the pastor
said, "That's so sad I think I will say a special
prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea.
And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and
see if there's anything he can do for them." The
engineer, after much thought said, "Why can't these
guys play at night?"

I like these funny takes on the inspirational stuff. The Chicken Slop for your Soul type of stuff sometimes gets on your nerves. They give you a feeling of deja moo - the feeling that you have heard this bullshit before.

The Blind Ambition bit was one of the good ones, but there are huge dollops of these idealistic muck out there in the world. The ones that come immediately to mind are the quotes, one-liners, proverbs, old jungle sayings...vagera vagera.
So the ones that rip apart these are the ones that tickle me most. I call them "unquotes" or...hmmm...lemme see...what about "fun- liners"...

Here's one...
We have all heard the weepy..
"I complained that i had no shoes. Then I met a man who had no feet."

now hear the full one...
"I complained that I had no shoes. Then I met a man who had no feet. So I took his shoes. After all he wouldn't be needing them"

Here are some more...

"God give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money."

"The easiest way to a man’s heart.....right through the chest with a sharp knife"